


Ridley wears the Peach Crown and has a temporary crush on Samus the Ridley Killer

by KingFranPetty



Category: Metroid Series, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Between Seasons/Series, Crack Treated Seriously, Crime Fighting, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I'm Sorry, IN SPACE!, Inappropriate Humor, Misunderstandings, My First Work in This Fandom, Only One Bed, Other, Outer Space, Play Fighting, Questioning self, Regret, Space Flight, Space Stations, The Author Regrets Everything, Villains, What Was I Thinking?, What-If, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-04 21:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: See the title? Now you understand what I am doing now. I'll be trying a different formating style. It might not work at first or at all. I'll still try it.





	1. Starting line

(It's in between fights in Smash, the camera zooms in to Bowser and Ridley sitting next to each other. They are waiting for their next fight. Ridley has mostly figured out that people don't die here, this is a disappointment to him) 

Bowser:*explaining* Well if they died then we couldn't fight them again. 

Ridley:*apathetic disappointment* Yeahhh. 

Bowser:*trying to think of something else* Ummmm... Why don't we talk about something else? 

Ridley:*showing interest* Like? 

Bowser:*testing the waters due to his lack of information about Ridley* Like... Our enemies?

Ridley:*more interested in this* Finally thank you! You wouldn't be surprised by this but every time I get near that human being, she kills me! Every single time we meet. 

Bowser:*nods, remembering dying to lava among other painful means* I die all the time too. It's always a hassle to get back. 

Ridley:*remembers painful death after painful robotic parts* I know. This isn't even my original body! 

Bowser:*chuckles* I'm pretty sure the only thing that I have from my original body is the bones, if that. 

Ridley:*dark lizard laughter* If that. 

Bowser:*huffs out* I'd like to win just once against them. 

Ridley:*thinking* Just once. Maybe ever get near her. 

Bowser:*flashbacks to all the fun times he won at party games and cart races against Mario, smiles at their some what friendly foeship* How close? 

Ridley:*getting more excited with bloodlust* Close enough to rip her in two and smash her open! 

Bowser:*thinks about Peach. Chalks Ridley to much the same* Oh. That close? 

Ridley:*more angry now* I want to get closer than that even but bang dead!! Every! DAMN! TIME!

Bowser:*cogs turning* So she only kills you when she knows you are you, right?

Ridley:*calmed confused* What do you mean? 

Bowser:*adding up the math* I don't know, have you tried wearing a mask or something? 

Ridley:*doing computing* I don't recall ever trying on a disguise. 

Bowser:*checking his pockets* I think I got just the thing. 

Ridley:*rounding all the numbers* Will it make me look completely different? I don't want Samus to realize who I am and shoot me to pieces again. 

Bowser:*finds it, pulls out the crown* Definitely. 

Ridley:*confused* What the hell is that? 

Bowser:*shrugs* A crown I found. 

Ridley:*narrows eyes* It looks stupid. 

Bowser:*hands it over* Yea but This Samus wouldn't never think you'd do that, no? 

Ridley:*takes it* No. What does it do? 

Bowser:*trying to find the words* It turns makes people look kinda like Peach. 

Ridley:*disgusted* Ew. I guess it would work but.. Eww. 

Bowser:*getting up* Says I'm up next. Good luck. 

Ridley:*looks at the crown then to a board on the wall that flashes Bowser on it* Enjoy play fighting. 

(Fade to black)


	2. Wear it.

(We are on a space station. It's about a planet. The camera zooms in on Ridley in front of a mirror made of some broken piece of metal) 

Ridley:*looking in the mirror* I fucking hate this. 

Goon 20:*not paying attention* I don't know Boss. It's the best mirror we could get in the gun fight. 

Ridley:*apathy and mild rage* No, the pink god damned crown. 

Goon 20:*thinks fast* If this plan works out, You won't ever have to wear it again. 

Ridley:*looking at the crown* It has to work. I can't imagine facing anyone ever again if it doesn't. 

Goon 20:*loading gun* Any plan on the rest of this place? 

Ridley:*bored* Kill whoever is left and teleport the loot to our ship. Make sure to take everything that isn't fused to the floor. I haven't gotten "the cutter" fixed yet. 

Goon 20:*checking to make sure the gun doesn't jam* Wanna me to bring back the cams so you can watch when you get back? 

Ridley:*smiles* I'd like that. *putting on the crown*

Goon 20:*jaw hangs open, stepping back* Boss? 

Ridlette:*hiding wings and tail* Um? 

Goon 20:*turns away to hide blushing* Never mind. I should go. *leaves*

Ridlette:*looks at mirror* He wasn't lying.. *disgusted* Disgusting. 

(Fades to black)


	3. Planet side.

(We are by a purple pink dish lake with green jellyfish in it, Samus' ship is parked nearby among some trees, the camera zooms in on Samus holding a cube with one of these jellyfish inside it) 

Samus Aran:*thinking narration, closing the box* There has been no signs of Metroids on this planet despite witnesses reporting some in lakes and oceans. 

Samus Aran:*continues, locking the box* I may have located the reason behind the reports however. There has been space pirate activity around these areas of space. Which may provide some action. 

Samus Aran:*apathetic worry, teleporting the box* The galaxy has grown quiet for some time. Jobs for people like me grow ever smaller and there's been negative talk about my "need" in times of peace. To be truthful, I grow restless and bored. 

Samus Aran:*noteable mild numb, walking to her ship* End log. 

Ridlette:*watching from the background now*

Samus Aran:*notices, impatient* There's no need to worry, citizen. The lake only contains jellyfish. 

Ridlette:*Starting to feel nervous, having second thoughts on if she can tell it's him*

Samus Aran:*sighs* I'm sorry if my tone sounded harsh, it's been a long day. *walking to Ridlette*

Ridlette:*backing away*

Samus Aran:*thinking back to when she was young and afraid, backs up* 

Ridlette:*smiles a little, getting closer*

Samus Aran:*knees down to seem less big and scary* Do you need help?

Ridlette:*realizing that he's shorter than her now, still trying to get closer and pretending to be some local* Where am I? 

Samus Aran:*doing a calmer cooled voice* Sandra Lake.

Ridlette:*faking a worried look which isn't hard due to nervous stress of possible death* I can't find... *faked scared mumbles*

Samus Aran:*holds out a hand* Come on, the city isn't too far away. I'm sure we can get help finding whatever you are looking for. 

Ridlette:*close enough, smiles wider now* Thank you. *about to go in for the kill, trips and falls instead*

Samus Aran:*catches him* 

Ridlette:*looks up to see into Samus' eyes, confused at heartbeat increasing* W Wha!? 

Samus Aran:*set him up straight and stands up* Watch where you are going, the forest has roots everywhere. 

Ridlette:*Looks back to where he tripped, there's a large root* How?! I should have seen that! 

Samus Aran:*walking, still holding one of his hands* Don't get to angry with yourself. It happens. 

Ridlette:*sees he is still holding her hand, that odd feeling he didn't note before returns* Eah. Urmmm. *decides to follow her*

(Fade to black)


	4. Nice ship

(We are inside Samus' ship. Ridlette and Samus Aran are both sitting down. Ridlette has become stressed due to this strange new feeling they have when they look at her, the camera zooms in on these two) 

Samus Aran:*thinking to herself* She's kind of cute. Something about her seems so familiar but wildly different... I should focus on helping her. 

Ridlette:*mostly internal screaming, you've played enough metroid to know which screams*

Samus Aran:*trying to be helpful* You don't seem like you were very well dressed for hiking. In that dress and odd hat... How did you get this far into the woods? 

Ridlette:*stumbling on their words* My friends left me here. 

Samus Aran:*bends down to get a better look, sees the clothes are ripped and caked in forest junk like leaves* They don't seem like good friends. 

Ridlette:*picking off the forest junk* You are probably right. 

Samus Aran:*sits up, turning seat to the controls* Do you have anywhere to stay? 

Ridlette:*thinking about the pod he used to get planet side* Not really. 

Samus Aran:*pointing behind her* There's a bathroom and some clothes. They might not be your size but it's what we have until we get to the city. 

Ridlette:*getting up* Thank you, Miss...? 

Samus Aran:*pushing some buttons* Name is Samus Aran, you are? 

Ridlette:*thinking of human names, walking to the bathroom* Ashley Scott

(We are now in Samus' bathroom and it appears as if Ridlette has gone done with showering. Their even in different clothes)

Ridlette:*trying to get tail into pants* Dammit damm. 

Ridlette:*looks for looser pants* Why are all her clothes so tight? 

(The camera zooms over to the mirror where we can't see Ridlette getting into different pants, you pervert)

Ridlette:*thinking about Samus' tight clothes, more examples focusing on her tight pants* 

Ridlette:*starting to think about what's in those pants*

(The camera pans over to Ridlette in the new pants)

Ridlette:*shoving tail into pants* Focus on the goal. 

Ridlette:*thinks about Samus getting close to them, pinning them against the wall and...* Not like that

Ridlette:*splashes self with cold water* Get your mind out of the gutter. 

Ridlette:*signs, looks at self in the mirror* You can do this, it's not that difficult.

(Cut to Ridlette walking down the hallway and stopping at the door to Samus' room) 

Ridlette:*looking at the door, almost sweating* Be strong. 

(The door merely sits there, almost open by not quite)

Ridlette:*almost moving closer to it* Just walk away. 

(The camera zooms out to show Ridlette is a lot closer to the door then expected) 

Ridlette:*hand gets closer to the door* There's nothing in there that you want to see. 

(Cut to Ridlette in Samus' bed) 

Ridlette:*hugging her blankets* What is wrong with me? 

Ridlette:*putting face in blanket* I'm weak. *self doubt and conflicted feelings*

Ridlette:*gets mad* No, I'm stronger than this. It was just a small stumble on the path to my victory. *breaths deeply in nose to get pumped*

Ridlette:*pulls face out of blankets* This smells kind of like Samus. *grab a pillow and smells it too*

Ridlette:*imagines Samus sleeping, now without her armor* No, be strong. 

Ridlette:*thinking about Samus holding them in her big strong arms* I'm stronger than this

Ridlette:*image of them making out with Samus, is now yelling into pillow* Dammit dammit!

Samus Aran:*walks in, not in full armor, smiles, thinking how cute Ashley is* We are at The Portair city. If you want to... *looking over her*

Samus Aran:*gets closer* Are you okay? 

Ridlette:*looks over, turns red* I'm sorry for messing up your bed!

Samus Aran:*shakes her head no* There's only one bed here. We've both had a long day. I hope you are fine with sharing this bed. 

Ridlette:*conflicted emotions intensifies* It's fine. 

(Fade to black)


	5. I totally didn't kill your parents.

(Ridlette is hugging Samus in her sleep, the camera zooms in on Ridlette until we get inside her dreams) 

Ridley:*smiles, raising a glass filled with space clouds* To us. 

Samus Aran:*smiles back, clicking her own glass filled with eyes and tiny skulls* You can't lie to yourself forever. 

Ridlette:*drinks from glass as the drink turns to maggots* 

Samus Aran:*her glass is already empty* It's nice to dream. Shouldn't you be catching the train? 

Ridley:*gleeful in surprise* Oh yes, dinner. *takes off the lid, it's ashes and chocolate trains* Seems more fitting to call this dessert but I'm saving you for later. 

Samus Aran:*chuckles* Wouldn't it be strange? First my mom then me. 

Ridlette but red:*eating a train*

Dark Samus:*alien sounds that almost sound like English* This dream can't last forever. You have to wake up to what's real. 

Ridley but red:*points with fork* You've hardly touched your food. I can order something else if you don't like it. 

A large darkness:*static sounds*

Ridley but slowly melting:*nods* Bridges of water. 

(The setting of the dream warps, we are in a space station hallways)

Ridley but his awkward teen form:*trying to hide in the shadows*

Ridlette:*walking into the hallway, looks scared* Show off! 

Ridley but his awkward teen self:*lowering from the ceiling behind Ridlette, eyes glowing* Stop talking to yourself, Weirdo. 

Ridlette:*darkly delighted, turns around, bites down on other self, laughing murderously*

(The windows start to pour blood)

Ridlette:*uses teeth to rip off other self's arms, beating him to a bloody broken mess on the floor*

Ridlette:*begun to eat other self starting with the skin*

(Those fruits that his baby self was trying to eat in that game we aren't going to say the title of roll pass in another hall) 

Mega Ridley:*looks up from body he was eating to the rolling fruits, walking slowly to other hallway*

(We are in a different hall with no windows, there's a jungle at the end of it) 

Meta Ridley:*walks into the jungle, growing more unsure about this*

(We are in a jungle, there's a small pile of fruit on a net on the ground) 

Ridley but the clone:*pauses but shakes head at the clear trap* 

(It starts to rain, the rain is black) 

A bloody bag in a chair in the corner of the room:*starts moving like whatever is in the bag is painfully in it death* If you open that door, You will face yourself and all the evils against life you have committed. 

Ridley:*smells salt in the air, looks around to see he is now at a beach, a thick black liquid cakes everything, the liquid is only on his palms*

The bag:*in a much deeper voice* I know I am the only me, are you sure that you are the only you? 

3 beings that look like the many winged light from the world of light:*appear in the sky and block out the sun, speaking the same deeper voice* Beneath the skin we are allllready one. 

Ridley:*screaming* What the FUCK are you talking about?! 

The 3 winged lights:*getting closer* Was it not your sin that trapped the unicorn? *doing that weird light tentacle thing that killed Ridley the first time he saw one of these things* Even now the evil seed of what you have done, germinates within you. 

Ridley:*trying to run but his feet are being eaten by the sand* WHY?! 

The 3 many winged lights:*get closer, the ground is shaking* When will you learn, When will you learn? That your actions have consequences? *the light tentacles almost wrap around him*

(Everything is black, there's a thousand voices screaming. Screaming for help. Screaming for mercy. Screaming in death. A single pale light appears, the screaming stops. The light grows bigger and bigger until it is everything.) 

Do you know the nature of your reality? 

Ridley:*confused if he is dead again*

You surely understand the pain of death, no? 

Ridley:*looking around* Where am I? 

This is just a dream. In fact, your whole life is a dream. But you aren't the dreamer, I wasn't even the original dreamer nor the official. 

Ridley:*moves and feels ground behind him* Everyone is saying weird as SHIT and acting like I should already FUCKING know this. What the hell is happening?! 

A shared dream. Fiction. If Kirby could detail the words, he could tell you all about the cracks and glitches. Tell you of the dark old gods and how they crumbled at his feet. Begged for mercy that never came. Maybe even how they tasted. 

Ridley:*angry* That doesn't make any FUCKING sense!! 

(The light dims, he is in the middle of a dirt road, there's fog everywhere, there's a sign up ahead, it says Silent Hill)

It's been a long time since this has had a good game. Makes your series look rather lively. I S U R E W OU LD LIKE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF 

(The world becomes static) 

Then Ridley woke up.


	6. It's over, please insert coin to play again.

(The setting is back at smash. Bowser greets Ridley) 

Bowser:*waving* Hey Ridley, it's 

Ridley:*throws the peachy crown into Bowser's face, flipping him off* You motherfucker! I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!! *getting dragged out of the room by Master Hand*

Bowser:*putting the crown back into his pocket and getting back up* What's up with that guy?

No idea :)


End file.
